The Unicorn of Madness

Deathtouch, Vigilance
Lieutenant - At the beginning of combat on your
turn, if you control your commander, prevent all
combat damage that would be dealt to creatures
you control. Other creatures you control gain
vigilance until end of turn.
Lands you control have "{t}: Add one mana of
any color"
When all hope fails, the unicorn will roll right by you,
with his dick hanging out