The Twins

When cast, treat as if it were two Mechboss Legendary Artifact Creature permanents named "Spazmatism" and "Retinazer".
Both have 7/9 and Flying.
Spazmatism has "{r}, {t}: Deal 3 damage to up to two target creatures."
Retinazer has "{r}, {t}: Deal 5 damage to target creature."
"This is going to be a terrible night..."