Suicidal's Exquisite Affair

I immediately pictured like a masquerade Elizabethan style ball filled with all types of social lords and ladies from the farthest reaches of the mysterious Orient, and the untamed jungles of Africa. To the nubile colonies across the oceans and the fetid yet mesmerizing deserts of the Middle East. Patrons of the exquisite affair will be titillated and wooed by the savory and the sweet, as row after row of primmed and proper servants plate both exotic meats, coloured by the wonderful spices of the far east, and ravaging cakes and chocolates. The highlight of which is a roasted boar, gargantuan from an unchallenged life, until the unlucky meeting of both knight and savage felled the beast upon the eve of a grand hunt. The boar mounted upon a spit, complete with apple in mouth, crackled skin, still glistening with its succulent juices as it lay pointed north towards the head table of the feast, sullen and broken eyes plucked from the skull and replaced with the over-sized, fire torched nuts from the coasts of unexplored lands to the south. And at some point the festivities will halt as a silvered knife rings with a unmistakable 'ting' against the side of a pure crystalline goblet draws the attention of all patrons to the balcony and our distinguished hostess to announce the focal points of the website for the next quarter? (Maybe entire fiscal year... not positive on that notion.) And trumpets will fill the chambers and halls with the dulcet tones and reverberate upon the hearts and souls of all, as a brawny lord garbed in the most lavish of fabrics and colours, to unveil the vellum scroll, solidifying the already triumphant statements made by our hostess, to be posted upon the walls of all high society establishments to allow referral and remembrance of the direction of this most noble of websites.
I... sometimes miss the point.