Jarek ValDuke

{x}{u}, Discard your hand: Exile the top X cards of your library. Put all artifact cards exiled this way onto the battlefield. For each creature put onto the battlefield this turn, flip a coin. If heads, that creature can't attack, or, if tails, that creature can't block, for as long as you control Jarek ValDuke.
Whenever an artifact enters the battlefield under your control, chose one of its abilities at random. That artifact looses that ability for as long as it remains on the battlefield.