Carvier, the Masquerade

: Whenever you create a non-creature token, put a loyalty counter on Carvier. If it would enter the battlefield tapped, untap it.
0: Create a candy token. It's an artifact with "{1}, {t}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color. You gain 1 life."
-9: Each opponent discards half their hand, then sacrifices half of all non-land permanents they own. They lose half their life, rounded down.